Friday, August 25, 2006

Jokes

Okay, We have been dealing with a lot of serious things. Code Enforcement, Politics and other issues.

Lets introduce some more levitiy ala The Prarie Home Companion Joke show.

What is your favorite joke?

Criteria: No racially or sexually offensive jokes or obscene jokes. That means you cannot post The Aristocrats. Political jokes are okay. The joke can be simple. It can be obscure. Whatever. By the way Blond Jokes are not sexually offensive. They are a fact of life.

My favorite is
"Q. How do you get down from an elephant?
A. You don't. You get down from a duck."

This is one of my favorites because I did not get it for 5 years. I heard the joke and the answer and for some bizarre reason my synapses were not connecting and I did not get it. At some point in college, it came to me out of the blue and I understood it. Silly joke that any 10 year old should get. What makes this funnier is that I often make my own jokes for myself that have the most tenous connections and I could not get this obvious one.

My second favorite is a joke involving my college. I went to Ateneo De Manila University. Our Arch rivals went to De La Salle University:

An Atenean and De La Sallian are in the bathroom at a basketball game between the two school. After they finish using the urinals the Atenean goes to walk out of the bathroom without washing his hands.

The De La Sallian says: "In La Salle they teach us to wash our hands."

The Atenean replies "In Ateneo they teach us not to pee on our hands".

Ok its silly and sophmoric, but hey why not.

12 comments:

Shave and a Haircut, Two Bits said...

I like my coffee like I like my men: weak and bitter.

Anonymous said...

What did the fish say when he hit the wall?

"DAM!"

jaded1 said...

Two blondes were walking down the street. One sees a woman's compact laying on the ground, so she picks it up. She opens it up looks at the mirror and says, "hey she looks familiar". The other blond snatches it from her, looks at it and says, "you dumbass, that's me!

IFly said...

The leaders of the big beer companies meet for a drink. The president of Budweiser orders a Bud, the CEO of Miller gets a Miller, the head of Coors orders a Coors, and so on. Until it's Arthur Guinness's turn. He orders a soda.

"Why didn't you order a Guinness?" everyone asks.

Guinness replies, "if you guys aren't having beer, then neither will I."

Anonymous said...

Not a joke, but a riddle:

You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your right side is a valley and on your left side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you. In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level. Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also traveling at the same speed as you.

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

Scroll down for answer:














Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round

ShreksWife said...

okay, a blonde a brunette and a redhead walk into a bar. They go up to the bartender and the redhead says to the bartender, "i'll have a R&C", the bartender thinks about it for a second and anwsers, "a rum & coke?" to which the redhead laughs and replies "yes!". Then the brunette says to the bartender, "i'll have a B&C", to which the bartender quickly replies, "ahhh, a bourbon & coke!". Yes, says the brunette. Then it's the blonde's turn to order her drink. She tells the bartender, I'll have a 15. The bartender is stumped. "hmmm," he says, "i haven't a clue ... you got me on that one." to which the blonde (frustrated) replies, "duh, its a seven and seven!"

IFly said...

A blonde walks into a bar......




...the brunette and redhead duck.

You can gong me now.

Anonymous said...

Q: What did the maxi-pad say to the fart?
A: "You are the wind beneath my wings."

Anonymous said...

I got a joke..what do you call 20 sex offenders living in one residential house?
Roommates.

Anonymous said...

What was JEFFREY Dalmers favorite
meal?





Manwhiches........there more like a meal.

Anonymous said...

When I die I hope I go like my grandfather, peacefully in my sleep, and not screaming in terror like his passengers.

Anonymous said...

My wife likes to talk long distance on the phone during sex. Last night she called from Orlando.

I went to the doctor and he said I was dying. I said "Doc, I want a second opinion!" He said "Okay, you're ugly too!"