Sunday, November 26, 2006

Man Grill

............a Sunday Afternoon Discussion

















A male friend of mine had a grill. A beautiful grill by MAN LAW standards. It sat on the home's deck. That is until the divorce. At first he had no idea the grill would be involved in this life style change. But suddenly the man grill fell into the hands of the ex and became a woman grill!

This was a decidedly depressing circumstance for the friend. First he said, "Oh who cares, it was only a grill!"

We did not believe him.

Then a bit of anger started invading the bravado. That was futile and brief, but what came next was this overwhelming sense of emptiness. My friend spent a lot of time talking about his grill, lamenting the loss of lunch time burgers and Saturday night steaks. The grill tools had no purpose. There was a shiny unweathered place on the deck where the Man Grill used to sit. My friend kept looking at it, longingly, emitting a soft sigh. It was all very disheartening.

You simply can't separate a man and his grill! Kind of like a man and his dog, except for one thing. If a man is separated from his dog, he is reluctant to get another for quite some time. But a man separated from his grill can easily be cured by only one thing.....A new and hopefully, even better MAN GRILL!!!

Pictured above is the replacement MAN GRILL. My friend is better now, and has almost stopped talking to himself.

I found this whole thing interesting and wondered who else has MAN GRILL stories?

And for fun here are a few MAN GRILL thoughts!

The grill is the man's domain. He will use it year-round.
Corollary: Anything prepared on the grill---even a a quiche-- counts as a manly meal.

Man Law: Never turn the steaks on another man's grill unless said man asks you to.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/405/men_and_their_grills.html

63 comments:

Anonymous said...

This takes it. This is the stupidist story i've read on the blog.

Anonymous said...

Think that was the point!

Anonymous said...

oh well. guess all stories can't be gloom and doom.

this is the great thing about this blog.

it's never the same old same old.

stop complaining.

if you don't like it, go away.

there's lots of blogs out there to suit your (bad) taste.

bu-bye!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

man law is funny!

Anonymous said...

Sorry, no man would cook on that shiny oven.

Anonymous said...

There are no man-laws without woman's permission.

Anonymous said...

I hear jealousy! And I hate to tell you, including my father, I know lots of guys who have similar grills!

Seminole said...

Guys? What about us women, we like grilling. We also like power tools. We've come a long way baby.

Anonymous said...

that's hysterical! thanks for the levity. tho i do agree women are just as grill savvy.

to anon poster #1: perhaps if the writer made some kind of tie in to code enforcement or prositutes you'd be happier? the blog is supposed to be commentary about life in and around the Heights and musings as one's mood permits....i'm thinking this qualifies as both. LIGTHEN UP

Flyer anon said...

I have a theory on this that harkens back to our hunter/gatherer days.
The women would pick berries, dig up roots and otherwise provide for all the veggie parts of the diet.
The men were the ones that would go off for days to bring back some animal protein.
They may have lost one of their comrades in the endeavor.
So when it came time to cook it up guess who's responsiablity that fell to?
What we see today w/a man and the grill is just an extension of the hunter/gatherer division of labor.

Anonymous said...

Oh Honey that’s just wrong. I could rock a steak wrapped in bacon that you couldn’t even dream off. Beet can chicken? Bring it on. Chicken livers wrapped in bacon stuffed with water chestnuts are my specialty.

Seminole Space said...

Chicken livers wrapped in bacon stuffed with water chestnuts? Mmmmm
liver.

p://www.myspace.com/121293685 said...

Perhaps a grill off is in order?

Anonymous said...

NOTHING, not even bacon, can disquise the nastiness of liver.

Anonymous said...

Bacon makes everything better. Bacon makes the world go round. Bacon can unite us as a city and a counrty! Hurray Bacon.

Seminole said...

Ooooooo! I like the grill off idea. I wouldn't compete 'cause I'm not that good at it yet, but I can sure judge. I'll even help transport grills in my truck whenever and whereever.

Seminole said...

The only thing I like better than bacon is more bacon.

ShreksWife said...

"Sorry, no man would cook on that shiny oven."

Are you nuts? My husband is as far removed from a homosexual or a "metrosexual" for that matter (most bloggers here that know him cann attest to the fact that he is a "caveman") ... and even HE lights up when he sees a grill like that!!! Just like FA illustrated his hunter/gatherer theory ... that TOTALLY describes my husband. Before I met him, I was the grill chef. (Well, being single, the food didn't grill itself!) and once he came into the picture, the grill has been off limits to me. Not that I mind, I have plenty other things to do, like gather berries (er, make the salad, and side dishes).

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Seminole Heights said...

Anon 1:05 Point taken and offensive post removed. I also removed yours because your appropriate comparison word is offensive even though your context had no offensive intent

Mal Carne said...

Grill off? I'm in!
Let's pick time and place. I'll pit good old fashioned oak and charcoal against the "blue flame of valor". Anyone else interested?

Seminole said...

I'm transporting grills.

ShaynaPunim said...

Iron chef Seminole Heights!!!! Secret ingredient, Meat. Preferably wrapped in bacon ;)

Seminole said...

Yumm! Yumm!

amarathonguy said...

n4This akmost as funny as the "the front porch fell off" transcript from code mtgs. Fun on the blog is cool.

Now as to grilling...I suspect there are distinct style differences and a poll of contenders could be interesting.

Which sex prefers:

wrapping things in bacon
dry rubs
secret sauuce recipes
timers
chrome
black steel
hand protection when closing the lid
help while grilling
a beer while grilling
a cosmo while grilling
talking on the cell phone while grilling
having a grill shaped like a formula I racer
having a grill that matches something in the kitchen

AngelSil said...

- no bacon
- dry rubs: yes
- charcoal > gas
- beer > cosmo
- no cell phones

I grill. My husband does not.

ShaynaPunim said...

Being a "lady" myself I prefer.....

Bacon, alone, wrapped arond things,or as a side. Don't care how I just gotta have it.
Mmmm secret sauce!
Beer.. to chase down a cosmo or four
Music ( Led Zep or The Pretty Things) and NO cell phone.

jaded1 said...

A dirty Goose martini, or three
a fat ass marinated ribeye
Al Green's greatest hits.

amarathonguy said...

wood over charcoal or gas
no bacon even for breakfast..nitrates are bad
dry rub
no beer, no cosmo til cookin's done then a goose martini sounds FINE!
no cell phone
black over chrome matching nothing
no hand protection
secret sauce recipe

but I love others' versions when it sings

Seminole said...

Porterhouse steak - med. rare with Johnny Seasonings (from Tacoma)
Baked Potato
Salad
Class of wine
Friends
Loud game of Charades
Any kind of music that makes you feel 17 again.

Now that's my kind of grillin'.
Forget the phones and cosmo.

Anonymous said...

We all know that toys are just an extension of a man's penis. The smaller the penis, the bigger the extension. The bigger the penis, the less he needs the extension.

Mal Carne said...

wrapping things in bacon: chicken fried bacon wrapped in bacon
dry rubs: yes
secret sauuce recipes: yes, as long as the rub is right.
timers: time is irrelevant
chrome: nope
black steel: yup
hand protection when closing the lid: only if it's red hot
help while grilling: keep your hands off my grill. You may admire and ask advice, but do not touch.
a beer while grilling: that would be nice, thank you.
a cosmo while grilling: I'm man enough to sip a pink drink in public.
talking on the cell phone while grilling: cell phones are just one more excuse to disconnect one's self from the task at hand.
having a grill shaped like a formula I racer: what am I 6 years old?
having a grill that matches something in the kitchen: sure, why not add some artichoke shaped knobs while you're at it?


Any takers on the grill-off? I'll volunteer my house for a location.

AngelSil said...

I'm in for a grill-off. I'll have to get a picture of my grill up soon. It's charcoal, ugly as sin, and works like a charm.

No pretty-boy grills for this girl!

jaded1 said...

I'll buy, you fry

Seminole said...

My truck is ready for transport of grills. My tastebuds are ready to judge.

Mal Carne said...

My butt-ugly, small grills are ready to go.
This could be fun, just need a few more contestants. Without being too presumptuous, anyone interested can email me at TheMalCarne AT gmail.com. Let's hammer out a few details and make it happen.

Bloggerwife said...

Only in Florida can you talk about grilling in December! What a great way to recover from eating all that turkey.

CouldBeSherry said...

I am thinking the grill off would be a great Greater Seminole Heights project. Hey, Gary and Randy, up for it?

www.myspace.com/121293685 said...

Wow! I'm glad y'all liked my idea.
If any of you have myspace accounts I made a profile for SH.

www.myspace.com/121293685

I've has a little red charcol grill and a cooler full of beer waiting for something like this.

Seminole Space said...

"I've has" sorry! It seems like I've already dipped into the cooler.

Couldbesherry said...

OK all of you with man grills or but ugly grills or little round ones, charcoal or gas,,,,,,,,if you seriously want to have some kind of grill off,,,,,email your contact info to info@SESHCA.com.
I have no idea what makes a grill off but we will figure it out, but need to know who is serious!

ShreksWife said...

couldbesherry ...
please don't use your grill, unless the fire department is nearby! that 12 foot flame might set a tree on fire! lol

CouldBeSherry said...

Hell, no I am not grillin....I just want to make the grill off happen!

Anonymous said...

Here is an idea... why not have a grill off like Sherry said with the "Great Seminole Heights. Possibly at River Tower Park or River Park. Do you know how much Media this thing would Get. Look at the Rib Fest how many 1000's of people go to that.

I was on a flight and watch a burger cook off. It was amazing. Burgers stuffed with just about anything, Rubbed, you name it.

Seminole said...

I sent to couldbesherry last night.

I think it would be great if the presidents of each neighborhood association could be the judges along with a couple of off duty firefighters from our stations.

1st prize - We can talk to Home Depot about the grill tool set.
2nd prize - Talk to Publix for the $20.00 gift certificate.
3rd prize - Talk to Family Dollar about Glad food containers.
We could make some silly looking olympic style medals for the winners. We could have it on a Sunday afternoon when kids and adults can really have the most fun. Give the contestants 2 hours to prepare their food. Invite the newspaper, news stations, play games, have competitions for silly prize. All the cooks could get an apron with "1st Annual Seminole Heights Grill Off" printed on it. Ohhhhh!! This could be so much fun.

Lets have some fun.

CouldBeSherry said...

Ok, all you BIG TALKERS! Need more than one person in a grill off but only one of you have emailed info@SESHCA.com to say your interested So before I have to name this person as the winner due to no competition,,,,,,,,,weigh in on your desire to participate in a GREATER SEMINOLE HEIGHTS FIRST ANNUAL GRILL OFF!

email info@SESHCA.com

Anonymous said...

I am assuming that in order to "compare apples to apples" there would be one type of food, ie, BURGER GRILL OFF?

Mal Carne said...

Apples to apples would be "cooked on a grill". There are far too many things that can be done on grill to limit this to burgers or hot dogs.

Seminole said...

I agree with hamburger to hamburger. Compareing burger to steak is unfair. Naturally the steak would always taste better than a hamburger. The type of grills would be the desiding factor.

But this could all be worked out during planning. So come on and lets get more cooks together.

Anonymous said...

I am a vegan, so I want veggies included in the grill off.

shawn-non-anonymous said...

wrapping things in bacon: not necessary. Rather stuff with garlic.
dry rubs: yes with mustard seeds, please.
secret sauuce recipes: Shhhhh!
timers: Helpful but don't rely on them for "done" time.
chrome: Yuck.
black steel: eh... okay. Stainless is better.
hand protection when closing the lid: If needed.
help while grilling: Help with what? :-)
a beer while grilling: the griller doesn't work without one.
a cosmo while grilling: too much prep time and the martini glass doesn't take well to busy settings.
talking on the cell phone while grilling: equals dry meat and burned veggies.
having a grill shaped like a formula I racer: Waste of time.
having a grill that matches something in the kitchen: Waste of time.

Wood coal > charcoal > gas w/wood chips > gas.
Skin on and bone in where applicable.

Seminole said...

Vegan? Not a problem, hamburgers aren't made of ham. Get your grill and make us some veggyburgers. I've never tasted 'em and this could be my chance.

Flyer anon said...

Doesn't trying to make vegetables or vegetable based look, taste, and smell like a dead animal defeat the purpose of being a vegan? Hindus have been vegan for thousands of years and I bet they don't have any dish that makes you think it came from a cow.

Anonymous said...

I am original to eastern europe, and we think noting of eating goat and horse meat. These would be delicios grilled and a new experience for many. Do any of local butcher shops offer horse meat?

ShreksWife said...

If God hadn't meant for us to eat cows, he wouldn't have made them out of meat. :o)

jaded1 said...

Horse meat? Sorry but that would be like eating my dog or cat. Horse slaughter is in the process of being outlawed in this country anyway.

The Madame said...

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the 1st Annual Seminole Heights Grill Off. I have a secret, I am Mal Carne's wife and he is a retired Executive Chef (don't tell him, I told you!) He's ALL about the food; especially grilling. We spent some time in TX and he caught the bug. We have been to MANY cook offs.
In order to do this right, there must be 1 main ingredient, beef, chicken, pork, or tofu. However the contestant prepares it is up too them (chicken burgers, steak, smoked pork, Tofurkey). There must be a time limit for the cooking. The contestants must make so many lbs of BBQ for the on-lookers to sample. Finally, there must be an inspection of all ingredients (to make sure there is no pre-cooked items). There should also be an odd (prime; like 5 or 7) number of judges from all over SH, not just board members. Then there cannot be any favoritism calls. Most importantly, we should focus on this being a neighborhood event not a Plant City Rib Fest. The Rib Fest started out small and it grew. It would be awesome if this could grow into a huge event; but lets keep it real…for now. Get the sponsorship prizes (Home Depot, etc.), get the media coverage, and get the 1 or 2 guest judges; but in the beginning, keep it simple. Prizes are nice, but a gotty trophy passed off between the winners every year is awesome (every year the new winner could add something to the trophy; like stars or Stars Wars figurines)! I can't wait to taste!
I suggest a meeting be organized to plan this WONDERFUL event!

Seminole said...

I think everyone knows I'm up for the planning. Has anyone else contacted couldbesherry?

shawn-non-anonymous said...

Flyer Anon: Why do you assume veggie burgers are intended to mimic meat? Some of the brands do, but they are mostly targeted at people who like the taste of meat but are looking for something healthier (lower in cholesterol or whatever). Many veggie burgers make no attempt to taste like meat.

My favorite veggie burgers come from Hamburger Mary's. I don't know what brand they use but they have the best mix of grains and nuts that give a rich flavor. Add roasted red peppers and guacamole with red onions and I'm SOLD.

shawn-non-anonymous said...

The Madame:

Might I suggest as possible cool judges...

1) the presidents from the three SH associations.

2) the owners/cooks from restaraunts/catering businesses located in SH.

3) local firemen

Seminole said...

Those judges work for me.

ShreksWife said...

HEY! check out sherry's blog for the grill off. Just to get you guys a little more hyped up about it, I've created a little logo for the event. Maybe if this event takes shape, we can have the t-shirt guy print us up some aprons with the logo for all the entrants!!!