Saturday, December 30, 2006

Invasion of the Farmers

Most people are not aware that the Gasparilla pirate invasion is not the only invasion that occurs in Tampa. Twice a year we have two other invasions. Thousands of farmers come from east Hillsborough County to invade Tampa. They come to protect us by scaring off the millions of birds we have infesting our urban gardens and fields. If this were not done we would not have any fruit or vegetables for our kitchens and would starve to death. Yes, every January 1 and July 4 we can thank those farmers for their sacrifice and kindness.

That can be the only explanation I have for all of these fireworks going off.

1/1/07 Update: In response to the comment, here, here and here is why I am not happy about fireworks

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Why the hate of fireworks?

Anonymous said...

How can intelligent people ignore what fireworks do to animals? I have friends whose dogs go through glass doors because they panic when it sounds like the world is exploding outside. Why can't we live on this planet with respect for all creatures?

The Captain said...

Yes, I'm thinking the setting-off of fireworks by a bunch of bumpkins in close proximity to 75 to 100-year-old wood-frame homes is a recipe for real pyrotechnic fun! I'd like to shove some roman candles up the arses of these upstanding citizens and light the fuse. Thanks for keeping me awake and the pets scared, bastards.

armyBob said...

Yeah..the novelty of fireworks wore off for me at about age 8. All I can think nowadays is "Please don't set my house on fire." I'm fairly patriotic (in a love-my-country, hate-my-government sort of way), but it really irks me when I get stuck cleaning up other folks' fireworks debris after their July 4th "celebration". Luckily, no mess this New Year's, just loud Guns 'n' Roses (I caught myself humming along to 'November Rain' - doh!).

SICk of stupid said...

Yes the fireworks thing.

I prefer to think that those who use them outside of a national event .July 4th and NewYears.)is a pain in the ASS.

I cope with PTSD.Those firecrackers sound alot like gun shots.Personally I WISH the law had the capability to fine someone monies for setting them off in such close areas

Behind me are people who just LOVE To make alot of noise.Why? I do not know Some people are prone to being louder than others.

We have several on our streets near by.They argue loudly and their music is loud.
THE FIREWORKs make it worse for me to like them they shoot them off on any given day of a week


The state should be not able to have any sales of the fireworks until the events.

I also dont get why a family would allow their children to use them ...some of them I have seen
myself allow their children to use those big boomers to set off.

What's the matter with these people?





My sitting service dog was with us over the New years eve she did not like them either.

who would.

Anonymous said...

Can't the police see that these fireworks are not being used as intended and arrest the perpetrators?

Anonymous said...

Is the sale of fireworks illegal?

IFly said...

It's a loophole in the law that allows the sale of fireworks "if the purchaser of the explosive plans to use the device to frighten birds, illuminate a railroad track, or facilitate a quarry operation." Purchasers sign a waiver at the time of sale stating that they intend to use them for one of the purposes above. I have to say that there was less mining and railroad illumination going on this New Years Eve near my house than last. I think some of the prior offenders have moved out.

Anonymous said...

If you enjoy blowing up fireworks -you might be a noisy, insensitive, moron.

jaded1 said...

Personally, I think if you enjoy things that go boom, Iraq is a perfect place for you.
I had an uncle who was a Marine for two tours in Vietnam, but fireworks would totally send him over the edge. I feel for people who suffer from PTSD and have to deal with the people who think the 4th of July and New Year's lasts 2 weeks.

Anonymous said...

I enjoy watching them, but I don't dig the noise as much as I used to when I was a kid.

A. Veteran

ShreksWife said...

My German Shepherd must have doggie PTSD because he goes totally skitz at the boom of fireworks (thunder too). Every year around this time and the 4th of July, I just know he's gonna have a hard time. He burrows under the house for days, it's just something I'll have to deal with as long as he lives.

On the topic of the legality of fireworks and law enforcement officers, doe anyone else see the irony that these larger fireworks retailers, such as the Galaxy on Florida and MLK actually have off duty deputies working there? Seems like a contradiction. To me, if they are not going to enforce the law, they should not be able to work as security at these places, either.

Beerwulf said...

On the other hand...

I actually like that I can buy fireworks and set them off on July 4th, and I don't like people telling me that I can't.

I have set off fireworks on July 4th since I was eight years old. I have never been hurt, and I have never set anyone's house on fire. I have enough brain cells to do it safely. My dog isn't crazy about the fireworks, but she doesn't freak out about it at all. All she does is sleep through them.

The thing I really enjoy is watching amateur fireworks at Henry & Ola Park. It's fun, it's away from peoples' houses, and it's far enough from PTSD sufferers and nervous pets that it should minimize their effects. I *have* been known to set some off in front of my house, but it's always in the street and never towards anyone's house. I have had to clean up spent bottle rockets once in a while, but I'd much rather spend the two minutes once a year than build up resentment and whine about having to.

Flyer anon said...

II must be the only one that buys em' for the intended purpose.
The house next door has one of those big camphor trees that put out black berries.
A flock of black birds come and eat them and then sh*t em'. The only way I can get em' to leave is by sending a whistling bottle rocket up at em'

As for just blowing fireworks off, it's great for kids but like snow it gets old quick for an adult.
Once I set up a bunch of different sized containers from coffee can to big garbage can. If I had a few ppl, and we could time em' right, it would have been a kinda' firecracker organ and we may have been able to knock out a recognizable tune.

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