Stupid Female Bank Robber...aarrgghh

So my friend Scott, moderator of the Seminole Heights Blog, asked if I wanted to contribute as an occasional guest writer to his baby. He tells me I can write about whatever, whenever and it can be anonymous or not. Normally I would probably write about neighborhood related things as they seem to be the basic gist of the blog. But I thought I'd start with something near and dear to my heart....bank robberies. Bank robberies, you ask. Yep, bank robberies. Read on my friends....

Last week and over the last few days there has been crazy national coverage of this stupid chick that robbed four banks while talking on her cell phone. Naturally, she got caught pretty quickly. Duh. Who robs a bank these days and thinks they won't get caught? Apparently this guy (http://www.fdle.state.fl.us/Alerts/2005/bandaid_bandit.html), damn it! For local peeps you may (or may not) have heard of a serial bank robber dubbed the "Band Aid Bandit". He has been robbing Bay Area banks since 2000 and in late October committed his 37th robbery. So most people are not affected by these things...unless of course you happen to be in a bank at the time he is robbing it. But for me, because I work in law enforcement, I've had to look at this fat bastard for over two years trying to put a name with the face. You think it would be easy (and seriously, spare me the stupid, lazy, doughnut laden cop jokes). For starters, there is a $25,000 reward. That alone is some kick ass motiviation for most people. He does wear a wig and a fake mustache....but honestly, if you saw a really good picture of your dad, your neighbor or say your drivers ed teacher with a wig and a fake mustache, would you not know who it was? I think so, but apparently the majority of Tampa Bay is having problems with it. Over the summer, NBC Nightly News came to Tampa and filmed a story about this prolific bank robber but they have yet to run the story. On average, NBC Nightly News gets something like 8.4 million viewers. That sounds pretty damned good to me! I'll take it. But have they run my story yet? No! Because shark attacks, hurricanes, Scooter-freakin' Libby and retard chicks on cell phones robbing banks have stolen my thunder!!! You would think now would be a good time for NBC to segway into my story...but NNNOOO. So, take mercy on a pour soul and look at this guy's photo. Share it with your friends, your mom, your priest, whomever. I don't care. Tell me who it is and I'll be your best friend. For life. Seriously.